Spoiler alert: I no longer have a facebook.

Like every other person who graduated high school in the aughts, I got myself a facebook right when I got my college email address. Kids, these were the days when facebook was for college students and college students only, but I digress.

I loved being on facebook during college. It made connecting to classmates for projects and “projects” so much easier. When I graduated, I thought I would use it to keep in touch with those who no longer live near me. Ah, the sentiment.

Did I use it for such a reason? Fuck no, and neither do you.

Instead, I used it to stalk people I either don’t know well or no longer talk to. And ex boyfriends. But everyone stalks ex boyfriends on facebook when they’re twenty two. However, I am no longer twenty two, and I try to act like a grown up at least thirty percent of the time. Try is the operative word in that sentence.

As more time went by from graduating college, I found myself hating being on facebook more and more. I did not want to see how much fun everyone was having without me. I did not want to feel bitter about not having a bridal shower, engagement party, or having to plan my own bachelorette party (well shit, I guess I am still bitter. Give it time, self). Some people know how to work that website. They know how to take umpteen pictures of every event they go to or hype up every action of their day to day life. I don’t take many pictures of where I go because I’m busy being there. Or I’ve lost my phone. So, for a spell, I found myself using facebook far less. Then I moved across the Atlantic.

When I first moved to Germany nearly a year ago, I found myself clinging to facebook even more than when I first got it. I thought it would help make me feel not so far away from all of my friends back home. I thought maybe it would help me connect with people over here. Make friends because the military community is basically like being in middle school as the new kid who just moved into town during the semester. I didn’t feel better though, I felt worse.

I’m not going to lie, I became severely depressed this past winter. I won’t go into details now because, well, we’ve only just met. And I’m not that kind of gal 😉

Still, I felt awful every time I went online. My new “friends” were constantly together without me, or making passive aggressive statuses (seriously, middle school). My friends back home were going on with their lives as they should, but I wanted more than anything to be there with them. My best friend and her girlfriend were planning on moving to this adorable little townhouse in Wilmington. I wish I could have thrown them a housewarming party… or be in attendance because Sara is the best hostess ever and it is her house. My closest friend from college and former roommate told me she’s taking the plunge and getting her master’s in nursing. I want to high five her because that is completely badass.

The first step in solving a problem is admitting you have one. Facebook was hurting my life far more than it was helping it. I COULD use it for networking or planning Pampered Chef parties, but that isn’t worth the amount of time I was sucked into scrolling through everyone’s lives who seemed infinitely better than mine. I posted a status a couple of days ago that I was deleting and to message me for my details like email and phone number. I received dozens of replies about how I can’t delete, that they loved my snarky statuses and would miss me. Half of these were from people I haven’t talked to in at least a year. That’s when I realized that facebook isn’t about friendship; it’s about voyeurism.

So, I no longer have a facebook. It’s fucking awesome. Not only do I feel myself blissfully ignorant about other people’s lives, it adds to my hipster cred to loftily tell others that I don’t “do” facebook. It’s the little things in life.

This is far more of a serious post than I intended to write on this blog. I guess we all have our serious moods just the same as we all have our “binge watch Gilmore Girls” moods. Or is that just me?

~Ellee