Full disclosure: my self esteem is similar to that of any realtor’s will to live on any given episode of Tiny House Hunters.
Yeah, it ain’t great.
A lot of things factor in to this such as my constant weight fluctuation, my very tiny stature, oh and the fact that I’m CONSTANTLY ITCHY. Continue reading
Guess who’s got two thumbs and a penchant for not following through? This guy.
To quickly recap, I’m still in Germany, still married to the military, still purchasing way too many shades of red lipstick, still constantly dyeing my hair.
Oh, but Charming and I adopted a black kitten that we named Dash. Then we found out he was actually a panther. Oops.
What is it about certain situations that makes you apply makeup like war paint?
The vast majority of my German neighbors now believe me to be an insane, possibly homeless American who rants to animals.
As you lovelies may know, I’m trying to get healthy. Yes, a lot of this is me being vain. I know we all read about those women who say “I just want to be healthy. It’s not about looks.” Yeah, that’s bullshit. I’m secure in myself to know that I’m in this to get to Bettie Page levels of awesome. I already got amazing hair and makeup skills. This is obviously the next step. If I become a healthier person, that’s a perk too.
So, after singing a requiem for my chocolate ice cream, I jumped back (literally. I started swimming) into the swing of things.
I forgot how HARD this was.
On recommendation from my fantastic friend, Justine, I signed up for Piyo. Of course, when I first heard the word, I thought it was some magical weight loss frozen yogurt. I was wrong. Good God, was I wrong.
The Piyo lady seems so nice. I don’t know why she takes such pleasure in my pain.
I’m only on week two, so here’s hoping that the endorphins start kicking in soon. I know I’ll stick with it though. Charming already completed P90X and started P90x2 while signing up to be a Beachbody coach. Show off.
Currently, I’m laying on my couch, sweaty and in pain, trying to convince my dog to get me dinner. Seamus Finnigan needs to start earning his keep, after all. No luck yet.
I wonder how much it would take to get my cat to carry me to the shower…
~Little Bombshell
What exactly is the “treble” in All About That Bass? Is the bass your bum and treble your boobs? Is “bass” a metaphor for being curvy and treble its angular opposite?
This is what occupies my headspace at work. I clearly need a new job.
Of all the things I have problems understand, talking shit about people after graduating from tenth grade is really high up there. Like, number three after people obeying speed limits and geography.
Still, I come to this new community and have to deal with this. I get that some people are immature, but women in their forties talking about me to my coworkers that are in their twenties? It’s so Desperate Houswives. No murders yet, though.
What was being said, you may ask? That I’m an egotistical bitch that thinks I’m the best at everything. Clearly she has never seen me attempt sports. Also, why is believing you are good at something a negative thing? I stated I knew I was very good at math (fun fact of the day) which is what started this whole thing. There isn’t enough eye rolling I can do.
I am so self obsessed.
However, every cloud has a silver lining. When I deal with people like that, I remember how awesome my true friends are. Last night I hung out with Keeley where we drank a lot of wine and talked life. We talked about our friends from back home and how amazing they are. I think that’s why I’m so sensitive here; it will take A LOT to be up to par with my friends back home.
Friends that surprise you by serenading you during your first dance.
Yeah. That fucking awesome. So, if you’re reading this, take the time tonight to tell your friends how you feel about them. Now that I’m not near mine, I think how I didn’t appreciate them enough back home. I could focus on stupidheads whose favorite extra curricular activity is gossiping, but instead I’m thinking about the people who love me. It may not be many, but I’m really into quality over quantity 🙂
Now this is fucking LOVE
My friends and family are incredible although they’re hundreds of miles away. I have a Charming that writes me notes like this ^ and I have one or two people over here that make Germany not complete hell. Life could be far worse.
Why, do you ask? I just put down my deposit for a Celeste Giuliano photo shoot! !!!!! That’s right, soon this gal
Will be working with the BEST pin up photographer in the known universe. Except maybe Neptune. That’s one sexy extra terrestrial object, so obviously their photographers are top notch.
Check out her work… and drool over it at celestegiuliano.com. I’ve never seen better work, and two of my three best friends model professionally.
I don’t think I can fully express how excited I am for this. Maybe this will show that the pin-up life is for me. I hope so. I’m shit at geography, so there isn’t much else I would be good at.
I’ll keep you lovelies up to date because I’m vain as fuck. I love you all!
Now back to the wine.
~Ellee
So, my laptop is on its way out. It’s impressive, though, since it has lasted for four years. As someone whose super power is being a human EMP, that is quite the achievement. Now, the keyboard is jacked (my fault since I type with purpose) and the space bar only works half of the time. Even typing this post is driving me to drink.
I’m looking up reviews of different computers/tablets/whatever and realizing I have NO IDEA what I’m doing. How do I make myself feel better? Play with makeup, of course!
I’m really good at looking at the camera like a deer in headlights.
Little Bombshell 