The vast majority of my German neighbors now believe me to be an insane, possibly homeless American who rants to animals.

A touch of backstory: this week, Charming had surgery. Nothing serious, just something called an OP3. It’s basically getting your tonsils, adenoids, and some of your soft palate removed. Yummy. Therefore, my lovely husband has been doped up to his eyeballs for several days now.

Obviously, there has been perks. I’ve had excuses to eat ice cream (I have to be supportive), and I get the pleasure of having Charming tell me how he can’t feel his face for ten minutes, then find the old box of Don’t Break The Ice we have and demand we play.

Now for the negative. He was on liquid oxycodone which tears up your stomach. Obviously, you have to take it with food. However, Charming felt ill and didn’t eat anything. Then he felt worse. And didn’t eat. And felt worse. Do you see the cycle happening?

Being the loving, caring wife I am (I can hear you laughing. Shut up) I often told him how he needs to eat. He would groan and not listen. By around nine thirty last night, I had completely lost my patience. I asked about food, and he said he knew about it and didn’t need my incessant pestering.

You know how sometimes, with a mix of stress exhaustion and a new brand of birth control, you go a little crazy?

I went a little crazy.

I jumped up with a, “Fine! I would bug you at ALL anymore!” And grabbed the dog’s leash. I yelled that we were going for a walk, and stormed out of the house with the dog at nearly ten at night. I proceed to vent to the dog (yes, out loud) about how I couldn’t believe how Charming was asking, and I don’t even know how I’m going to survive living in Germany for much longer.

Several Germans stared at us. I don’t even blame them.

After around a half hour, I cooled down and began the trek back to our house. Yes, the entire time I was talking to my dog. And my voice has a naturally loud tone to it.

It’s a good thing I don’t know German, and therefore have no expectations of making friends with our German neighbors.